Shredded Beef & grilled Papaya

Cinco De Awesome Shredded Beef with Grilled Papaya

 Come Celebrate Cinco De Mayo with me and this guy.

 Cinco De Mayo?! More like Cinco De Awesome! What's that mean? You know I don't speak Spanish! I just thought it sounded AWESOME!! I thought I'd be one of those douche bags who isn't even Mexican but goes out and celebrates Cinco Day Mayo and parties my face off like the Mexican Revolution saved my life. I like to add Cinco De Mayo to my list of other holidays that I party my face off to even though I have no idea what they are about. Such as; Fiesta De Las Cruces, Indian Heritage Day, Gospel Day, Ho Chi Minh's Birthday, Holiday of Poetry, Sheep Festival, World Turtle Day and Sorry Day. That's just one week out of my schedule. Don't believe that these exists? Check out my link.

Holidays Around the World

So, let us be like all of the other jackwagons out there and use this upcoming holiday as an excuse to party our faces off. Because drinking in a fake sombrero makes drinking so much more acceptable.

 Cinco De Mayo falls on a Saturday so you have no excuse not to make this tasty shredded beef recipe. Well, if you are celebrating International Midwives day or Senior Citizens day in Palua I will let it slide.

Cinco De Awesome Shredded Beef with Grilled Papaya

I let this roast cook slowly over night in a crock pot, in the morning I turned it to "warm". I came home around 7pm and shredded it. Super easy and tasty! Served with homemade guacamole and a coleslaw!

Ingredients:

Sauce

-1/2 onion diced

-3 garlic cloves, minced

-1 large can of tomato sauce

-1 can of Salsa Ranchera (in the Spanish/Mexican--whatever it's called-- section of most grocery stores)

-1 TSP garlic powder

-1 TBS ground cumin

-2 TBS olive oil

-1 Roast (I used a 4# boneless beef roast of sorts. I had Mike pick it out for me)

- 3 carrots, shredded

-1/2 onion, chopped

-1/2 cup beef broth

-1 papaya, seeded and cut into quarters

Directions:

-In a saucepan heat olive oil over medium/low heat

-Add onion and minced garlic, cook until onion becomes slightly translucent

-Add tomato sauce, salsa ranchera and spices

-Bring to a slight boil then remove from heat

-Place the roast in a crock pot with the onion and shredded carrot and the beef broth 

-Pour the red sauce over the roast

-Cook on low heat over night or through out the day. (about 8 hours)

-When you are ready to serve remove roast from the pot. There is going to be a lot of "sauce", the roast should have been completely covered by it. 

-Allow the roast to cool slightly and begin to shred by hand. 

-Put shredded beef in bowl.

-Ladle sauce from the crock pot over the shredded beef. Just enough so it's moist and saucy. Not soupy or too runny.

For the papaya

-Turn on your grill!! ( I sprayed mine with olive oil cooking spray so it wouldn't stick)

 -Cut into quarters and remove seeds

-Place on grill with the skin/outside down first...I Probably left it on for about 7-ish minutes until there was slight charring of the skin.

-Flip and cook on the fleshy side until there is sight charring again! 

I also made Paleo Comfort Food's "Tastiest Slaw Ever". But, I can only find the recipe in their cookbook. So you should obviously purchase it or else you are missing out.

Get Paleo Comfort Foods cookbook here for the best price 

Bang Bang, enjoy.

Chipotle Sweet Potato salad with a side of no fish

 Summer in Central Oregon. Yah buddy.

Summer is my all time favorite season around Central Oregon. Duh, who doesn't love summer right?! All of my favorite activities are kind of dependent on the weather. Wakeboarding, tanning, naps in the sun, mountain biking, drinking beer in the sun and fishing. I love fishing. Fishing season opened on Saturday and I was stoked. I planned my first ever solo fishing trip. I go fishing by myself all the time but I used to go to a spot that was within walking distance of my house (I caught my very first brown trout at this spot last summer, two in one day actually!) This time I picked a new lake that I had never hear of before and set out at 6:45 am to slay fish. I didn't catch anything. Sigh. But I made friends with an old fisherman and got to watch him reel in a beautiful 26" rainbow. That was pretty cool.

 My first brown trouts (This is before Paleo & constant crossfit,don't judge me ;))

To go along with my excellent summer mood and summer activity I made sun tea and Chipotle Sweet Potato Salad. I love potato salad. It reminds me of Summertime and my mom. She makes a pretty epic potato salad. But sorry mom, my potato salad is better then yours. I threw caution into the wind and used mayo. I know that you can make "paleo mayo" but lets be honest, no one wants to make that shit. Happy summer! I hope you try this awesome salad at a picnic or something cool and summery like that.

 

Chipotle Sweet Potato Salad

Ingredients:

-6 small sweet potatoes, diced
-2.5 chicken breasts seasoned with garlic salt, paprika and black pepper
-1 cup olives, chopped
-6 hard boiled eggs, chopped
-1 cup celery, chopped
-3 TBS olive oil
-Olive oil mayo or Paleo mayo (if you're fancy)
-2 TBS whole grain dijon mustard
-1TSP chipotle chile pepper, ground
-Salt & pepper & garlic salt to taste

Directions

-Grill your chicken breasts
-While the chicken is grilling saute the sweet potatoes in olive oil and add the chipotle pepper ( I did this so that the potatoes could get golden and slightly crispy. I don't like how mushy they get when you boil them.)
-Once your chicken is done grilling, chop it up and throw it in a big bowl
-Add your sweet potatoes, celery, olives and eggs
-Add mayo until it reaches your desired potato salad consistency. (I probably used about two cups)
-Add mustard and continue mixing
-Season with salt & pepper and garlic salt to taste! (I think the garlic salt is the most important ingredient here FYI)

**You could add sweet pickles and onions to this to give it some more flavor even! I didn't have either on hand so I didn't worry about it!

Stuffed Celery and our Paleo Feastivus!

 The other day a few friends and I gathered for a Paleo Feastivus. We talked a lot of paleo at this event. Shocking, I know. I bet people hate talking to me. It's all about crossfit, food, Vampire Diaries, how stupid I think people are and how funny I think I am. How depressing to not be me. Anyways, something that came up was the lack of healthy snack options we have. I can only consume so many nuts and veggies before I start to grow nuts myself...LOL. See, I made myself laugh. Me so funny. So,what do we do? Give up and eat cookies and chips? No sucka! Start making stuff! So that's what I did. I always seem to have eggs, bacon and avocados on hand. And sometimes I buy celery to make "ants on a log" without the ants. I took these ingredients and made a stuffed celery variation. If you like bacon and eggs or stuffed celery, or egg salad sandwiches or lettuce wraps or deviled eggs, here is a perfectly easy "stuffer" for you. Stuffer? That doesn't sound tasty, but it is.

Ingredients:

-4 hard boiled eggs
-4 strips of cooked bacon
-1 avocado
-1-2 TBS whole grain dijon mustard (depends on how spicy you like it)
-Garlic salt and Salt & pepper to taste
-Paprika 

Directions:
-Chop everything up and mix really well! Add garlic salt and the salt & pepper until you are satisfied. Stuff whatever you feel like stuffing! I chose celery and I was happy!
-Sprinkle with paprika so that it looks fancy!


~You could add more to this mixture to add more flavor even. Olives, pickles, onions. Whatever floats your boat!

The tasty recipes that Natasha and Wende made for our feastivus are linked below! These were really, really tasty recipes! I highly recommend trying them no matter how you eat. How can you go wrong with anything that's grilled?! Trick question, you can't! So just do it!

 This is pretty much how I cook. I am pretty BA.

Sweet and Sexy Chicken Wings!


^These wings were the best chicken wings that I have ever had. Seriously. Yum. Thanks Wende!!


Ginger-Lime Marinated Shrimp!

^So quick and easy! I can't wait to make this myself! Thanks Natasha!! 


Paleo Gumbo! It don't get no better!!

^I've never had gumbo before!! This was also one of my favorite new things that I got to try at our feastivus! I can't wait to make this also! *Made by Natasha! 


BOOM!

No pictures, no recipes. Just straight up.

I wasn't even going to post this to be honest. I even considered deleting this whole thing. Mainly because people are idiots. I can probably safely assume that the people who took time to be offended and leave comments about that were only reading my blog because they felt hated on. That's fine. we've all got something to say. Yes it's true, I can be a jerk and be offensive. I prefer to not be a sneaky, lying bitch about it. I like to be straight up. To me, it takes a bigger person to not be fake. So there is no recipe today. I've been cooking but pictures and recipes didn't seem to go along with this post. I don't even care if anyone reads this. I felt like I owed it to myself to let it be known, regardless of what gossip you heard, that  I'm not just a cold hearted, arrogant, self righteous bitch.And really, if you took my previous post to heart, and were really butt hurt about it, I just don't care and you're probably the type of person I didn't give a shit about anyways.

Sometimes I wake up and think "man, I just want to offended some people today." So I head to my jar full of "sensitive subjects" that are written out on slips of paper. I close my eyes and pull a slip out. Each "sensitive subject" gives me an idea of who I can pick on for that given day. Other days I wake up and think "man, I am a lucky girl with some awesome people in my life" and I go look at my little yellow sticky note on my fridge, that's actually been cut down into 1 quarter of its original size because the other size was just too big, I look at the list of people I actually like and then I think one nice thought about them. Then I still go to my jar full of slips and do what I always do, judge. 

I am gonna talk some crossfit here. I heart crossfit and I think it's a good time. I love how it portrays the image that a strong woman is a sexy woman. I've never been a petite flower; I've always been athletic and muscular. I was always very self conscious of myself because I felt like I was awkward and gross because I was "bigger" then most girls....and some of my ex boyfriends....(I even beat one at arm wrestling once-true story). Part of the reason I've fallen so in love with this culture is the open love and appreciation of a strong, hard working woman. There are some woman who do crossfit that absolutely inspire and motivate me. From my toes to my headband, they move me. I don't give a crap about Kristen Clever (I think she's a dude anyways) or Annie Thorsdoody. The women who inspire me are the ones I get to sweat with everyday. Ever since the crossfit open one woman in particular has motivated and inspired me more and more each day. Her name is Patricia, and she kicks ass. I'm not writing this to build some friendship bridge with Patricia or to impress anyone, I don't even think Patricia knows that I have this blog ;). I don't even know if anyone knows that I have this blog.... Wait, no I do know because I got some complaints about it last week.
Patricia is a mom and wife and a coach. She's about half my size and one of the sweetest firecrackers I've ever met. I wouldn't give her lip if she was my mom. During the open I had the opportunity to watch Patricia workout for the first time. I can't really express what I thought and felt when I watched her but I guess I could say that I was moved. Annnddd... If you know me, you know I'm not a mooshy, emotional, girly type. So keep that in mind as we get further along. I watched Patricia work her way through the 45# and 75# snatches. She made those her B. Next up were those 100# snatches. I watched this woman, who I think weighs about 100# herself take on that bar. She tried over and over again to get at least one snatch done at 100#'s. Not once while I watched her did I see a sign of defeat or disappointment. The only thing I saw was determination. In that moment there was no longer coach, mom, wife or Patricia. The only person I saw was a fierce athlete. An athlete determined to defeat the weight. I was impressed, I was awe struck, moved motivated and inspired. Wrap that all up into one and you've got Star, choked up and biting the inside of her cheek so she doesn't like, cry or something weird. 

It's not just the "team competitors" or "hard core athletes" or "crossfit douches" that can turn on "BEAST MODE". I know this. I don't think anyone has a claim on this Beast Mode so many speak of. But it's very rare to honestly see a chick turn it on. Sure you see woman working hard everyday, everywhere. But, going beast mode, that's different. (Not familiar with it? Google. it, I don't have time for that.)
It wasn't just seeing Patricia turn on beast mode. It is watching her stick around the box for 2 + hours to cheer for everyone and to help them. It is listening to her give the big dudes a hard time. It is watching her and her husband workout together while their daughter bounces around in princess costumes. She's just respectable, lovable and hard working. It is honestly people like Patricia that make me want to be a nicer, better person (never gonna happen though).
But this is what I love about crossfit. You don't just inspire people by how hard you work out. It's not just about that. It's about who you are in addition to that. Crossfit is not who you are. Your attitude, your family, your personality and your effort for that one hour, that's who you are.

Cupcakes and sunshine!

 Embarrassing fact: My baking cups are either heart or flower shaped.

My last blog/recipe post/rant was pretty intense. Let's lighten the mood for the weekend with a cute cupcake recipe. Looks like it's going to be a lovely weekend in Central Oregon!!! I'm getting out on my bike to hit some trails! Hope you all get out and enjoy it as well! As promised here is the Chocolate cupcake recipe!

 This is the epic spot I will be visiting this weekend!

I am pretty proud of these to be honest.I was trying to match the Chocolate Peanut Butter Cupcake's that I received from my friend Wende. Peanuts are a no go in Paleo so I borrowed the cashew "frosting" recipe from PaleOMG. It's good but I think next time I'd like to go for more of a chocolatey type frosting.

 I made my own coconut butter for this as well. I'll attach a link to a website that I used that showed me how to do it. It's very simple. http://www.thekitchn.com/one-ingredient-recipe-coconut-butter-166405

Ingredients:

-1/4 cup coconut flour

-1 cup almond meal

-2 egg whites

-4 eggs

-1/3 cup cocoa powder

-3/4 cup coconut sugar

-1 cup coconut milk @ room temp

-1 TSP baking soda

1- TSP Vanilla extract

Directions:

-Preheat oven to 350 °F

-Mix together the flours, eggs, egg whites, cocoa powder, sugar, coconut milk, baking soda, and vanilla extract in a large bowl.

(I had to do some adjusting here, add coconut milk or almond meal to get the right runny consistency that was easy to mix by hand).

-Scoop the batter evenly into cupcake liners.

-I baked for 25 minutes and that was perfect.

-Insert a wooden pick and if it comes out clean they are done.

-Let cool and then frost!

-Notes-

    -I use silicone baking cups because the cupcakes come out of them much better then paper cups.

    -Since this is my first baking recipe there was some adjustments done with the coconut milk and almond meal in order to get the right consistency. (give me a break OK ;))

    -I get coconut sugar at Food-4-less....Ugh I know, the worst store in Central Oregon. 

    -I never trust the baking time a recipe gives me, and that usually works in my favor. I suggest the same for you. Keep an eye on the cupcakes. Better to be safe then sorry :)


 Here is the frosting! http://paleomg.com/easter-weekend-double-decker-carrot-cake-cupcakes/

This is my friend Dennis Collins.

HEY HALF ASSERS!! THIS ONES FOR YOU!

You are about to get to know me a little bit better. This is a rant with a recipe on the side. Straight up. Please know I would never say any of this if I didn't hold myself to the same standards. So, HEY YOU HALF-ASSERS OF THE WORLD!!!! I AM CALLING YOU OUT!

  Guess what they do? Nothing. They wear crap and show up. That's not good enough.

This is doing.

I don't know about you but, the only reason I do anything in life is so that people think I am cool.

I actually don't even like to do stuff. I just like to tell people that I do it.  I'm about to teach you a life lesson here people. It's not about passion, it's not about trying your hardest or even doing the crap you say you do. Nope. Surprised? Just wait. It's all about pretending to do what the cool kids do, it's all about faking it. You don't even have to try at all. Ever. But you can still claim that whatever it is you're pretending to do is what you are most passionate about, and that you do it all the time. Be fake. Oh wait, don't forget that you've got to dress the part too. That's very important.

I walk in wearing an Elvis suit, tell you all about how I can sing,dance and jam. BOOM! GUESS WHAT?! I AM ELVIS.

I wear cut off jeans, boots and a flannel shirt and tell you how awesome I am at bull riding. I am a freaking bull rider now.

I wear a helmet and some awesome kind of jump suit and tell you my monster truck's name and BOOM, I drive monster trucks for a living. 

I walk around with a snorkel mask on my face and an air tank on my back, tell you I love fish. SHAZAM! I LOVE SCUBA DIVING!! Even though I have never been. 

I am wearing knee high socks, Lululemon pants, reecock shoes and a headband. Guess what my number one passion in life is? Crossfit. You guessed it. But really, I just like to go roll around on the floor.

This is what you think you look like-----------> This is actually what you look like.

Jack-wagon.

Just because you talk about something, wear some stupid shit and talk about it more, does that entitle you to stake your claim in it and cry PASSION to the world? Well, you can, but that also makes you a douche bag. You are a spectator, nothing more. Do you think the peasants who went and watched Gladiators in battle called themselves Gladiators? Doubt it.

Ok, time to get serious. To an extent it's none of my business what people do and don't do. I get that. Why should I care what people do with themselves? Because they are missing out! There are shorting themselves! If you care enough about something to just pretend that you do it, why not get something out of that slight interest that you clearly have? When you fake it, you are only lying to yourself. If your going to talk about it, then do it. If you are going to show up, show up with your game face on. I believe 100% that you don't get the glory if you don't do the work. I'm not saying you have to be good at whatever it is that you do. You don't have to eat, sleep and breath it. But you do have to try. I really like mountain biking, I suck at it but dang it I go out and try. I really love fishing, I have no idea what I am doing but I load up, all by myself even and go fish!  

So what's bugging me today? Fake people. Pretenders. Half-assers. Step up to the plate dog (ya,a white girl just said that). You wanna call yourself a gladiator? Put on your f***ing gear, I am calling you out.

----Comment from your editor (Pat) - "If something is worth doing, it is worth doing right." My Dad used to always tell me that. : )

You know who was a bad ass? Buffalo Bill. So here is a recipe that I named in honor of him.

Buffalo Bill's Balls or...Buffalo Stuffed Mushrooms.

The smoked sea salt and ground cardamon give these mushrooms an awesome smokey, savory flavor. 

Ingredient's:

 -1lb ground buffalo

-8 cremini mushrooms, stems removed (save and dice them up)

-4 TBS Raspberry vinegar

-2 TBS olive oil

-2 carrots, shredded

-1/2 onion,diced

-1 TBS smoked sea salt, ground

-1/2 TSP cardamon seed, ground

-1/2 cup almond meal

-1 TSP ground black pepper

-additional olive oil for 'basting' the mushrooms

Directions:

-Preheat oven to 350°F

-Heat olive oil and raspberry vinegar on the stove top

-Add your shredded carrots, onion, mushroom stems, sea salt and cardamon seed.

-Saute until the onions are cooked through.

-While the veggies are cooking, baste the mushrooms in olive oil. Lay flat side down on a cookie sheet and sprinkle with smoked sea salt and pepper.

-Remove veggies from stove and combine with the ground buffalo in a mixing bowl. (the veggies will be hot obviously, so just use a mixing spoon)

-Add 1/2 cup almond meal and 1 TSP of pepper and mix.

-Form balls, fill your mushrooms

-Bake for 35 minutes.

Notes:

-These guys get A LOT of their flavor from the smoked sea salt. While normal sea salt would be fine it's not going to give it that smokey, savory flavor. I got mine at Trader Joe's for $1.99.

-I got the ground cardamon seed from the bulk spice section at Fred Meyers.

-Ground beef would be a fine substitute, I just like buffalo :)

Comfort foods!

 Some lucky dinner winner almost got the honor of having spatula in their bread....I found it once it was done baking though :)

 

 Heck yes that's cheese you see!

 

I am pretty full of it. I have a 'rough' exterior that's all tattoos, jokes, bad words and name calling. But on the inside I'm all marshmallow puff. A gushy little girl with pigtails and a sundress playing with her My Little Ponies. Sigh. Right now that little girl misses her mommy and daddy who live in Texas. Another part of the "true me" is a fat little kid who loves food and turns to it to make her feel better. So, the other day I was looking for something that would make me feel comforted and make me feel at home. When I think of my mom and the foods she used to cook I think of her homemade spaghetti and Parmesan cheese french bread pretty much every time. I've already done a paleo spaghetti so that wasn't going to be too exciting for me so I went for the Primal Lasagna from Fast Paleo. I do have a clear visual of my mom laying out lasagna noodles in a pan in our kitchen at our Wickiup house in Redmond.I'll be honest though, I never liked her lasagna much (Sorry mom, you can't win em' all). So,this lasagna was awesome. My non-Paleo friend came over for dinner and she approved of it along with Mike and Pat. So, here you go, satisfy your inner softy that misses your mom and also that inner  fat kid who loves good food.

I'd just like to note that I am currently going through a "cheese phase".  Cheese is acceptable in Paleo as long as it comes from pasture fed beef and blah blah. Whatever, I love cheese. I'm going to eat it if I want to sometimes ok. You know what else I love? Bread! So here's a tasty garlic bread recipe to go along with that cheesy goodness. YAHHH BUDDY!

http://fastpaleo.com/primal-lasagna/

 .

Don't worry that's just a hunk of garlic in there. It's not the spatula. 

http://fastpaleo.com/amys-herbed-paleo-garlic-bread/